When an alcoholic or addict stops drinking or using the sense of relief for friends and loved ones can be palpable. The addict is finally able to access and utilize the support and treatment that is needed to achieve and maintain sobriety, sometimes involving structured treatment, aftercare and ongoing participation in support groups. Family and loved ones, who have been intimately involved with the progression of the addiction and functioning double-time to compensate for the addict’s behavior, can feel that they have been ‘left behind’ and that the focus is, once again, on the addict. Once physical sobriety has been achieved and some emotional stability has been demonstrated, long-buried feelings of resentment can bubble up. Family members pain has been internalized or shelved for a later date. Emotions may have manifested as physical symptoms and anxiety and depression are common. The pain of the family members has taken a back-seat to the more obvious destructive behavior of the addict. Understanding the parallel process of the disease arc in the family is vital to recovery. A family member or loved one of an active addict may seek therapy to better understand the addict; to vent frustration and despair; to look for answers to solve this confounding problem; or to find ways to better cover up the problem so the family can keep functioning. When people have an opportunity to share what has often been kept secret, and to look at their own needs and desires apart from the addicts, they often discover they can have a better life whether the addict gets sober or not. Many people will augment their therapy with involvement in a support group which helps them maintain their focus on self-growth.
